When Routines Change

Fall changes the rhythm of family life. Mornings get darker, jackets come back out, and there’s less time outside after dinner. School and childcare routines are settling in, while Halloween brings costumes, decorations, special events, and later evenings. 

Fall transitions can take some getting used to for young children. You might notice more big feelings, trouble at bedtime, extra clinginess, or a child who suddenly has a very strong opinion about putting on their coat. 

Changes in behavior can be one way children show us they’re still adjusting. 

A Little Predictability Helps 

Young children don’t have much control over what happens during their day. Adults decide when it’s time to leave, where they’re going, and when an activity is over. Knowing a little about what comes next can help children feel prepared. 

You don’t need an elaborate schedule to create that predictability. Familiar routines around waking up, meals, getting ready to leave, or bedtime can give children parts of the day they recognize. 

It can also help to tell children what to expect before a transition. Before leaving the house, you might say, “We’re going to Grandma’s for dinner. After dinner, we’ll come home and get ready for bed.” 

For a young child, knowing what comes next can make a change feel more manageable. 

Behavior Gives Us Clues 

Young children aren’t always able to tell us that they’re tired, overwhelmed, disappointed, or unsure about what just happened. Those feelings may come out as crying, refusing to do something, hiding, yelling, or falling apart over something that seems pretty small to us. 

When that happens, think about what’s been going on around them. Maybe it was a long day. The room might be loud. They may be hungry, or they thought they had more time to play. 

Think about what’s been happening around them. Maybe it was a long day. The room might be loud. They may be hungry, or they thought they had more time to play. 

Understanding what’s underneath a behavior can help you decide what your child needs in that moment. They may need some help settling down or just need you nearby while the feeling passes. 

Halloween Can Be A Lot 

Halloween packs a lot into one evening. There are costumes, decorations, unfamiliar people, doorbells, darkness, candy, and changes to the usual routine. Some children love all of it. Others may enjoy parts of Halloween and want to skip the rest. 

Talking about the plan ahead of time can help. Children can try on costumes before the big night, learn where you’re going, and know what will happen when they’re ready to go home. 

It’s also okay to change the plan once you’re out there. If your child has had enough after a few houses, you can head home. If they don’t want to approach a scary decoration or wear the costume you spent three weeks putting together, that’s useful information about what they’re comfortable with right now. 

There will always be another Halloween. 

Hold Onto a Few Familiar Routines 

October calendars can fill up with school activities, sports, community events, Halloween parties, and family plans. When the schedule gets busier, familiar routines can give children a sense of what to expect. 

Think about the parts of your day that already work well for your family. You might protect bedtime as much as you can, make time to reconnect after school, or keep one evening free when everyone needs some downtime. 

And some nights, putting on pajamas early and staying home may be exactly what the family needs. 

Small Choices Can Make Transitions Easier 

Think about how many directions a young child can hear in a short stretch of time: put on your shoes, find your coat, get in the car, come inside, clean up, get ready for bed. 

Offering a small choice here and there gives children a chance to participate in what’s happening. 

You can let them choose between two shirts, decide which book to read at bedtime, or choose to walk to the car or hold your hand. You still get everyone where they need to go, and your child gets a little say along the way. 

Give Yourself Time to Adjust, Too 

Parents and caregivers are moving through the seasonal change right alongside their children. You’re keeping track of school schedules, finding jackets that still fit, getting dinner on the table, and somehow owning twelve children’s gloves without a matching pair. 

It can take a little while to figure out what works. 

Pay attention to the parts of your family’s routine that make the day easier and the places that regularly feel stressful. You can adjust as you go. What worked in September may need a tweak by November. 

If parenting, routines, or your child’s development are feeling especially tricky right now, we’re here. Through parenting groups, home visiting, and family support our team can help you talk through what’s happening and figure out what might help. 

We’re here when you need us.